Tonight We Compose
Human mind is a very confusing thing. Once you start thinking, you can not stop. As for me, admitedly, I'm a thinker. I think as shallow as "how does human breathe without noticing they are breathing" up to as deep as "what is every persons purpose in life". I'm a thinker, half of the time I stop. Half of the time I slap myself and say "stop it bitch!" Haha!
Last week my male co worker asked me "bes, ilang tao na nainlove sayo?". Which made me think. Made me think harder than I usualy do(but not as hard when I code of course). How many men/women have fallen inlove with me? But the bigger question would be, how would I know if that was love or infatuation? As google will say, love is something deeper and infatuation is something short term. How the f#$* would you know that? They can tell you they love you but it can be just infatuation.
Lately, there's this person I like and it's been a complicated one. It's ok, he knows I'm not looking for something super serious. He said before that he likes me and I feel like that is just an infatuation because right now, I feel like he doesn't feel the same way anymore. Maybe I pushed him too hard, slapped him in the face with rejection because i was scared as hell but that's beside the point, I still think it's infatuation from his side. To be able to move away from that makes me think it's just infatuation. But what he did made me respect him cause he walked away without being angry at me, not one bit. Although I regret the decision, but I can not take back what I said. It will make him more confused and I dont want that to happen.
How would I know from my part that I just like him and I dont love him? A question I've been asking others. Sadly up to this moment, I can not say. Maybe it's like. Maybe it's love but i just dont want to admit it. It's definitely not lust. Yes, I do miss talking to him on a daily basis. Maybe it will pass. I dont know. The only time I'll know the exact answer to this is the time that I have moved on from this. Whatever this is. Hahaha!
There you go. My first random nothing.
Last week my male co worker asked me "bes, ilang tao na nainlove sayo?". Which made me think. Made me think harder than I usualy do(but not as hard when I code of course). How many men/women have fallen inlove with me? But the bigger question would be, how would I know if that was love or infatuation? As google will say, love is something deeper and infatuation is something short term. How the f#$* would you know that? They can tell you they love you but it can be just infatuation.
Lately, there's this person I like and it's been a complicated one. It's ok, he knows I'm not looking for something super serious. He said before that he likes me and I feel like that is just an infatuation because right now, I feel like he doesn't feel the same way anymore. Maybe I pushed him too hard, slapped him in the face with rejection because i was scared as hell but that's beside the point, I still think it's infatuation from his side. To be able to move away from that makes me think it's just infatuation. But what he did made me respect him cause he walked away without being angry at me, not one bit. Although I regret the decision, but I can not take back what I said. It will make him more confused and I dont want that to happen.
How would I know from my part that I just like him and I dont love him? A question I've been asking others. Sadly up to this moment, I can not say. Maybe it's like. Maybe it's love but i just dont want to admit it. It's definitely not lust. Yes, I do miss talking to him on a daily basis. Maybe it will pass. I dont know. The only time I'll know the exact answer to this is the time that I have moved on from this. Whatever this is. Hahaha!
There you go. My first random nothing.
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